A 248 word secret about me…

 

 I’ve been feeling really lonely for friends lately. Every Friday night I used to go out to dinner with my friend Mike. I used to walk down to Kam’s and we’d eat egg foo yung together. He was irreverent and politically incorrect and I liked that. And then Rebecca started joining us and sometimes Leslie, and the four of us would laugh and eat and drink tea and often go across the street to the café afterward and play cards. This was the highlight of my week, the thing that made me the most happy. We don’t do that any more. We can’t. Mike died and Rebecca got sick and here’s my secret about Mike. I was angry at him for four years for dying on me. I couldn’t feel anything but anger toward him, and I was afraid to tell Rebecca because she was so close to him. I didn’t want her to hate me. But I didn’t feel anything but anger toward him, and he hadn’t done anything to me but died. It’s only been in the last year that I’ve started really missing him and feeling sad. Nothing can bring him back. Nothing can bring back the fun we used to have. I know I’ll never be able to re-create the situation. There will never be another Mike and there will never be another Friday night shindig with me and my friends laughing at Kam’s. Even Kam’s has closed. It’s like it never happened.

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